FINDING YOUR PASSION

by: VIVIAN BANTA

 Ever wonder why you have met so few, if any, people who seem to truly love their lives and what they do? The concept of pleasure versus pain is a familiar one and in this case, what it means is that often, unless someone's current situation is truly unbearable or the future appears fantastically appealing, a person won't take the steps necessary to create change.

One of life's most challenging transitions is that of career change. Sometimes, clients come to me in the midst of dealing with this issue, but I work with just as many who are safely ensconced in a job that they don't like, are bored with, dread and on occasion, simply hate. Many of these tell me that they don't know quite how they ended up in their current position. It was a result of their schooling and one job experience led to another opportunity and the next thing they knew, it was their career and their life. When I suggest changing careers, the thing I almost always hear is, "But this is all that is on my resume! I can't be anything else!"

I have come up with a 5-step process to help my clients and others like them to make the shift from just doing something for a living to living their passion and loving their lives.

Step 1: Release Before you can really step out and make changes in your life, it is absolutely necessary to resolve the past. This can involve anything dealing with traumatic events to letting go of negative self-talk and stereotypes and myths you have bought into, from getting rid of energy drains to being completely honest with yourself. It also means identifying your fears, your hopes, your obstacles, and your resources and eliminating anything that is not nourishing you or moving you forward.

If it sounds like a lot, it is. Most people give up at this stage. It's easy to complain about how you hate your job, your life, your spouse, your family, and so on. It's also easy to waste your time and blame everything and everyone else for how your life turned out or to live in the past second-guessing your decisions and playing the "if only" game. It takes real effort and courage to change things. How about you? Will you continue to sacrifice the present and your future by existing in the past? Are you ready for the challenge or to paraphrase a favorite songwriter of mine, will you be late for your life?

Step 2: Anchor Once the past is dealt with, you can work on healing and anchoring yourself. In this step, you figure out what your needs are and find out how to get them met, first consistently and then to the point of abundance. Everyone has personal needs as opposed to physical needs such as air, water, food, and shelter. In this context, personal needs are the things that you must have to be your best.

Many of us attempt to get these met, either consciously or not, but there is usually a feeling that "I just get this way when…" or "This is just how I am" and instead of fully acknowledging their existence, we just treat the symptoms until they come up again.

Until you tell the truth about what your needs are and create strategies to get your needs met appropriately, you will driven by your needs instead of being in control of your life. So, which kind of life would you prefer?

Step 3: Discover After you start getting your needs met, it is time to discover what your values are. This is a little different than simply identifying your strengths, which is what many people focus on. Sometimes, you can excel at something that you don't really enjoy doing. For example, just because you are good with numbers doesn't necessarily mean that you will be happy working as a mathematics professor or an accountant. Unfortunately, zeroing in solely on strengths early in life is how so many people end up in a life that appears outwardly successful but is actually unfulfilling and/or miserable. There are many ways to arrive at your values, from assessments to simple self-discovery, from mind-mapping things you enjoy and that come easily to you to rekindling childhood wishes and dreams. It still amazes me how many people make this journey only to arrive at the very beginning saying in equal wonder, "You know, I've wanted this since I was a kid. So, why didn't I just do this?!"

Step 4: Explore Once you know what your values are, you can begin to shape your life into one that honors them. In addition to transitioning into a career you will love, this can mean changing where you live, how you socialize, how you express yourself and what you do.

This is another phase where people often give up. Having made the journey from seemingly having no choices to seeing all the many possibilities, they freeze. They have the knowledge in hand but won't take the step to make their vision a reality. Usually, their fear of the outcome (success or failure) keeps them from moving on. Since the next step requires them to actually "do" things, many hesitate.

Some were secretly hoping for a magic bullet that would solve everything simply through the act of enlightenment or self-awareness. They think "I know myself now, so things should just fall into place." Disappointed, these types go on to the next fad or trend in personal development and may never achieve their objectives because they simply will not take action or responsibility for their lives.

Step 5: Commit Someone once said, "Goals are dreams with deadlines." This final step is an act of commitment. No coach, no plan, no book, no e-course, no religion, no friend, no family member nor anything or anyone else can make you change your life. You must take action yourself. Only you are solely responsible for your life, for your situation, for your choices. No one said that you have to turn life inside out overnight but if you truly want to change your life, you have to be in action.

Your achievement and reward is a life that is purposeful and effortless. It will include people, work and activities, which honor your values. It will be one where you awake each day and can't wait to start experiencing it. So, what are you waiting for?